Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Art of Asking For Help

Growing up I always felt like I was inferior and this dictated many of my actions. I needed to prove that I was not the lesser being. Admitting that I didn't know how to do something or even that I needed help felt painfully threatening. To me asking for help let others know that I was not equal to them and that they were better than me. I had to prove my worth and I was desperate to do so.

I'd like to tell you that this is how it was during my childhood years and I quickly outgrew this as an adult, but that's not the case. Thinking back to my college days at wonderful Emmanuel I remember so many moments when I didn't want to give anyone reason to think that I was anything but great at ALL things. The sad news is that I didn't view myself as good at really ANYTHING and so I felt the need to appear to be good at EVERYTHING. It wasn't until after college that I invited God to work on this issue for real. I had prayed about it in the past {mostly because I felt guilty and silly} but I hadn't truly surrendered it to him and put my "work boots" on yet.

Now I wear the work boots daily {I'd like to imagine them as pink with white polka dots, thank you very much}. I am learning to be more open about my weaknesses and strengths. I'm also truly forgiving myself and MOVING ON!!!!

The best part of asking for help is what you get... HELP! We weren't meant to walk this life alone and try to piece things to get on our own. I'm so thankful God is gracious with me and loves me when I don't do this well and I pray that he helps me to always walk in his way better each day.

1 comment: